By LindaAnn LoSchiavo

      “I don’t really want to say need because to me—an aggressive, liberated woman—need sounds too pathetic.  But maybe I’m wrong.  Maybe need and want
  sometimes go together.  Maybe I do need and want a man.”  — Phyllis Hyman

Life became an abandoned sky.  She wrote, “I’m
tired.”  Chilled vodka winked, flirtatious.  “I’m tired.”

Sophisticated Ladies in ’81.  Those
audiences.  Tapped for a Tony.  Top of
the world, controlling my phrasing and breath, you
death, behind the stage door, waiting your turn.  I knew that.

Tuinals wrenching the red off their throat, I           
suck each one down like a bloodless cherry, love     
fluid movements, hips of an elegy, know    
how this cocktail shakes reality.  Who      
wants to say need?  It sounds pathetic, you     
realize.  Oblivion, don’t knock.  I know who you are.        

Phyllis Linda Hyman (July 6, 1949 – June 30, 1995) was an American singer, songwriter, and actress. Best known for her music during the late 1970s through the early 1990s, some of Phyllis Hyman’s most notable songs were “You Know How to Love Me” (1979), “Living All Alone” (1986), and “Don’t Wanna Change the World” (1991).  On the afternoon of June 30, 1995, 6 days before her 46th birthday, Hyman committed suicide by overdosing on a mixture of Tuinals and vodka in her bedroom [211 West 56th Street, New York, NY].

Suicide Note: “I’m tired. I’m tired. Those of you that I love know who you are. May God bless you.”

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LindaAnn LoSchavio is a New York native who began in journalism, with articles in published by Conde Nast, Hearst, Meredith, and Universal. Gradually, she transitioned to literary writing across multiple genres. This poem is from her current chapbook Felones de Se: Poems about Suicide and follows the golden shovel form.